6 Habits All Stoics Should Avoid

6 Habits All Stoics Should Avoid

Stoicism, the ancient Greek and Roman philosophy emphasizing virtue, reason, and indifference to external events, has grown in popularity recently. However, certain Stoic practices can become counterproductive and detrimental when followed too rigidly. This article explores six habits that all modern Stoics should be cautious to avoid so they can reap the benefits of this profound school of thought without compromising happiness, creativity, and human connection.

By examining potentially harmful Stoic tendencies – like dwelling on things outside one’s control, suppressing natural emotions, isolation from others, excessive self-denial, harsh judgment of others, and obsession with mortality -we can find more excellent balance, moderation and discernment in our exploration of this timeless wisdom. With insight, we can gracefully incorporate Stoicism’s powerful principles into our lives, while avoiding the pitfalls of overzealous application.

Stoicism is a philosophical tradition that emphasizes virtue, reason, and indifference to that which is outside one’s control. However, taken to an extreme, some Stoic practices can be unhelpful or even detrimental. Here are six habits all Stoics should be mindful to avoid:

1. Dwelling on Things Outside Your Control

A core tenet of Stoicism is to focus your energy on what you can control and accept what you cannot. However, dwelling on or worrying about external events, other people’s actions, health issues, and past regrets is an unproductive use of mental energy. Remember that the only thing fully within your control is your response. Redirect your thoughts to the present moment.

2. Allowing Your Emotions to Rule You

Stoics practiced self-control over destructive emotions like anger and jealousy. However, suppressing all emotions is neither helpful nor healthy. Make room for emotions while maintaining composure. Process feelings mindfully without letting them control your actions.

3. Being Closed Off to Positive Relationships

While Stoics preached detachment, they did not shun human bonds. In fact, Seneca wrote extensively on friendship. Avoid using Stoic ideals as an excuse to isolate yourself. Seek meaningful connections with others while retaining your independence.

4. Focusing Too Much on Deprivation

Stoics were ascetics who eschewed lavish luxuries. However, practicing self-denial excessively can verge on masochism and make life joyless. Enjoy simple pleasures in moderation as you simplify your external life. Deprivation for its own sake defeats the purpose.

5. Judging Others Harshly

Stoics emphasized clear judgment about right and wrong. However, being overly critical of others’ values breeds intolerance. Recognize moral differences and focus on your own character. Lead by example rather than judgment.

6. Not Appreciating the Present Moment

Stoics meditated on death to realize life’s transience. However, memento mori can make you dwell on the morbid rather than value the present. Make the most of each fleeting moment. Cherish the now instead of constantly contemplating mortality.

The key is balance. Moderation in Stoic practices allows you to enjoy their benefits without going to counterproductive extremes. With wisdom, Stoic philosophy can enrich your life. Taken too stringently, it can impair relationships, creativity, and happiness.

Mark’s Journey in Practicing Stoicism

Mark first learned about Stoicism after going through a difficult breakup. He was drawn to the Stoic principles of focusing only on what he could control and being indifferent to external events. Mark started implementing Stoic practices like meditation, journaling, and simplifying his lifestyle.

At first, Mark found Stoicism very calming and empowering. It helped him gain perspective and not obsess over his ex. However, Mark started taking Stoicism too far. He cut off close friends and avoided forming new connections to remain detached. He judged others harshly for not being Stoic enough. Mark denied himself simple pleasures and berated himself for having any feelings besides calm indifference.

When Mark’s father became ill, he remained unemotional and distant, thinking attachment led to suffering. Mark constantly dwelled on death and the impermanence of life instead of appreciating the present. This made him morbid and joyless. Mark felt like a failure whenever normal grief or anger arose.

Eventually, Mark realized his extreme Stoicism was isolating and depressing him. With help from a mentor, Mark found balance. He focused on what he could control without worrying excessively about external factors. Mark made room for emotions, relationships, enjoyment, and living in the moment.

Mark learned that Stoicism should moderate destructive impulses, not deny human nature. Using Stoic principles flexibly allowed Mark to gain more serenity and wisdom without sacrificing richness in life. He avoided the pitfalls of excessive self-denial, harshness, and obsession with impermanence. Mark incorporated Stoic virtues into his life gracefully and mindfully.

Key Takeaways

  • Focus your mental energy on what you can control; don’t obsess over external factors
  • Process emotions mindfully; don’t suppress them completely
  • Nurture positive relationships; avoid isolation in the name of detachment
  • Enjoy simple pleasures in moderation; deprivation for its own sake is counterproductive
  • Lead by example; judgmental attitudes breed intolerance
  • Appreciate the present; memento mori shouldn’t make life morbid


The Stoic philosophy emphasizes virtue, reason, and mastery over destructive emotions. However, rigid adherence to certain Stoic practices can become detrimental. The right approach lies in exercising moderation – not suppressing natural desires excessively, maintaining human bonds, appreciating fleeting joys, and avoiding harsh judgments. The goal is balance – harnessing Stoic principles of self-control and perspective to add meaning to life, without diminishing its richness. With discernment, we can incorporate Stoic wisdom into life gracefully.