7 Bad Habits That Destroy Your Confidence (Behaviors Killing Your Motivation)

7 Bad Habits That Destroy Your Confidence (Behaviors Killing Your Motivation)

Having confidence and motivation are critical to achieving success and living your best life. When you lack confidence in yourself and feel unmotivated, it can hold you back from reaching your full potential. The good news is that confidence and motivation can be rebuilt by eliminating bad habits that may silently drain them away.

This article will examine 7 key bad habits that can sabotage your confidence and motivation if left unchecked. By increasing self-awareness and taking action to correct these habits, you can renew your motivation and rebuild a strong sense of self-confidence.

Self-confidence and motivation don’t disappear overnight. Often, it occurs slowly over time as bad habits take hold and negative thought patterns go unchallenged. Before you know it, you wake up one day feeling completely unmotivated, insecure, and unsure of yourself.

Lacking self-confidence and motivation can negatively impact all areas of life. You may avoid new challenges and opportunities at work due to self-doubt or feelings of inadequacy. You may be isolated socially because you feel insecure around others. You might abandon exercise regimens or healthy eating because you just don’t feel motivated anymore. Eventually, your low confidence and lack of motivation can snowball into resignation, depression, and despair if not addressed.

The good news is that confidence and motivation can be rebuilt by examining bad habits and making positive changes. With greater self-awareness, intention, and consistent action, you can eliminate confidence-destroying behaviors from your life. Bit by bit, your motivation will be renewed, and your self-confidence will grow stronger. You’ll be able to take on challenges, connect authentically with others, and live your life to the fullest.

This article will explore 7 bad habits that commonly destroy confidence and motivation. These habits can be overcome with awareness and consistent action, freeing you to be your best self. Let’s examine each habit as well as tips for correcting them.

1. Comparing Yourself to Others

Comparing yourself to others is one of the quickest ways to diminish confidence and motivation. You almost always come up short when you constantly measure yourself against others’ accomplishments, abilities, lifestyles, or possessions. This breeds feelings of inadequacy, jealousy, and low self-worth.

For example, comparing your modest home to a friend’s luxury estate may make you undervalue your own living space. Getting caught up in envy can breed discontentment and resentment. The habit of comparison leaves little mental space to appreciate what you have.

To stop comparing yourself to others, intentionally focus on your own goals, values, and definition of success. Celebrate your unique strengths and talents. Surround yourself with supportive people who value you. Limit time on social media if it triggers comparison. Appreciate where you are in your journey while still striving to grow.

2. Being a Perfectionist

Perfectionism can seem like a good thing on the surface, but in reality, it is a confidence destroyer. Holding yourself to unrealistic standards of perfection leaves no room for growth or failure on the path to success. Perfectionists equate mistakes with weakness or stupidity, causing intense fear of failure.

This excessive need for flawlessness causes procrastination and prevents action. Even a small chance of failure is avoided since anything less than perfect is unacceptable. With such standards, motivation dwindles quickly. Each “failure” chips away at self-confidence bit by bit until avoidance and inaction feel safer.

Instead of demanding perfection, aim for excellence while allowing room for failure on the road to success. View mistakes as learning opportunities, not indictments of self-worth. Replace thoughts like “I’m a failure if I don’t do this perfectly” with “I will learn and improve even if I fail the first few times.” Give yourself permission to be human.

3. Not Asking for Help

Many people falsely equate asking for help with weakness. The truth is we all need assistance at times. Refusing to ask for help guarantees struggle, destroying confidence in your abilities over time. Pushing through challenges alone when support is available only breeds more self-doubt.

Asking others for guidance shows strength and confidence. It allows you to leverage skills beyond your own and gives access to knowledge you may lack. Rather than struggling indefinitely, getting help provides support to overcome challenges faster. Each obstacle conquered through assistance builds greater self-assurance. Surround yourself with those who want to see you succeed, and don’t be afraid to lean on them.

For example, if you are attempting to fix your car but lack mechanical skills, asking a mechanic for help will be far more productive than fruitlessly struggling alone. Swallowing your pride to gain expertise boosts confidence in the long run.

4. Focusing on the Negatives

Dwelling on negatives fuels pessimism while ignoring the positives. Over time, this tendency destroys both confidence and motivation. Your focus determines your reality – what you think about expands. The habit of zeroing in on negatives reinforces a cycle of dissatisfaction and dims your successes.

Intentionally shift your focus to notice the good around you every day, like great weather, healthy relationships, and acts of kindness. Start a gratitude journal to retrain your brain to appreciate the positives. Limit time with extremely pessimistic people when possible. Address negative thoughts with a counteracting positive thought.

For example, replace thoughts like “I’m so slow at learning this” with “I’m making progress each day.” Reframing your internal dialogue to emphasize the positive will motivate you to keep trying and boost your confidence.

5. Surrounding Yourself with Toxic People

Human beings are social creatures greatly influenced by those they associate with regularly. Surrounding yourself with toxic, critical people who drag you down is sure to destroy your confidence over time. Their harmful attitudes infect your self-perception and erode your motivation.

Set boundaries with toxic individuals when you can’t avoid them entirely. Spend less time with consistently negative or manipulative people who belittle your abilities and diminish your self-worth. Instead, build relationships with those who uplift and encourage you. Your confidence will flourish by being surrounded by supportive voices.

For example, limit time with friends who consistently criticize your choices or appearance. Make more time for relationships that affirm your talents and celebrate your wins, big or small. Choosing who you spend time with is choosing your mental environment.

6. Not Taking Care of Your Health

Your physical health has a massive impact on confidence and motivation. When your body feels lousy, your mind follows. Neglecting sleep, nutrition, exercise, and other lifestyle factors depletes energy levels and mental resilience. Self-care builds confidence by helping you function at your best.

Aim for 8 hours of sleep per night, with consistent bed/wake times. Eat plenty of protein, vegetables, and healthy fats while limiting sugar and processed foods. Get regular exercise appropriate for your fitness level. Manage stress levels through relaxing activities. Caring for your whole self builds energy, focus, and positivity.

For example, committing to walk 3 times per week boosted my energy. As my endurance improved, so did my confidence. Resting well, fueling properly, and moving your body help you tackle challenges with gusto.

7. Holding Onto the Past

While learning from the past is wise, holding onto it breeds confidence-sapping regret. Dwelling on bygone failures, lost opportunities, past trauma, or things you wish you’d done breeds sadness, disappointment, and guilt. Clinging to what no longer exists erodes the motivation to take action now.

Learn from your past, then release it to focus on the present. Apply lessons from failures without letting them define your future. Forgive yourself for past mistakes without clinging to guilt. If past trauma still haunts you, get therapeutic support to process it fully so you can move forward unburdened. Your past will weigh you down until you consciously release it.

For example, regret over a failed relationship may prevent investing in someone new emotionally. Confronting unearthed pain allows you to release it. Forgiving yourself frees you to love again without lingering guilt fully. Your future confidence depends on letting go of the past’s hold on you.

 Maria’s Confidence Turnaround

For years, Maria struggled with low motivation, chronic discontentment, and a lack of self-belief. She compared herself endlessly to her peers and always came up short in her mind. She feared failure and criticism, so she procrastinated on her goals. She isolated herself socially due to feeling insecure. Maria’s health habits were poor, and she dwelt constantly on regrets.

After discovering the seven confidence-destroying habits outlined here, Maria committed to replacing them with positive daily behaviors. She celebrates her unique gifts instead of comparing herself to others. She permitted herself to fail on the way to success. Maria asked friends for support and spent less time with constant criticism.

She focused intentionally on gratitude and the positives around her. Maria started walking daily, eating nutritious foods, and developing a relaxing nightly routine. She practiced self-forgiveness and letting go of the past.

Over time, Maria’s motivation and confidence grew more assertive. She returned to school to pursue her dream career, started dating again, and deepened supportive friendships. Maria’s journey proves that destructive habits can be replaced with empowering behaviors that cultivate motivation and self-belief.


A lack of confidence and motivation often accumulates slowly over time due to destructive habits. Identifying behaviors like comparison, perfectionism, isolation, negativity, and others allows you to increase awareness. Once aware, replacing each confidence-draining habit with a positive one empowers you to build motivation and self-belief.

With consistent action, the seven habits discussed here can be overcome. The rewards will be well worth your efforts – renewed passion for life, greater resilience to face challenges, deep connection with others, and embracing all that makes you uniquely amazing. Your most confident, motivated self will be revealed once you let go of what holds you back. The path to your best life begins with your next conscious choice.